In late May, Press SPACE to Jump was invited out to Alton Towers Resort by the amazing Merlin Affiliate Program and their Affiliate Marketing Manager, Vera. It was definitely a trip to remember, and we got to ride so many different roller coasters! And of course no theme park trip is complete without a ranking… So here’s the list you’ve been waiting for: the roller coasters at Alton Towers ranked from worst to best!
Alton Towers Roller Coasters Ranked
Editor’s Note: Radiant has no current plans to ride Octonauts Rollercoaster Adventure or Oblivion, so they have been excluded from his rankings.
8. Rita
I wanted to like Rita. It has a spectacular launch, but unfortunately after that spectacular, you go into a turn too soon, and then nothing really happens. It’s also had more down time than any other ride this season. We were lucky to even be there on a day it was running. Launch? Amazing. Everything else, I will pass on. It’s unfortunately Alton Towers’ weakest link. The queen of speed is past her glory days.
7. Thirteen (stylized Th13teen)
I don’t really care for a backwards coaster in general, so I am biased. The sensation isn’t for me. I think the first half of Thirteen is fine. The drop itself is cool, but the noise before it drops was too loud and added nothing to the suspense. The main reason this is higher than Rita is purely because the theming, queue room, and voice acting are all incredible. The queue line is better than the ride itself.
6. Spinball Whizzer
Let’s be honest, this Pinfari coaster is a carnival ride more than a theme park ride. It’s just kind of there. That said, it was fun. Was it the best coaster in the world? No. Would I ride it again? Absolutely! Do I see the coaster staying at Alton Towers for years to come as is? Maybe, if it continues to be the only coaster open for the February Half Term Pirate Takeover event, but in general, it doesn’t really fit at this park. It either needs a retheme or a replacement.
5. Runaway Mine Train
Say what you will about me putting this in the top 5, but I love a powered coaster and this thing is a classic. It’s the oldest coaster at the park and it’s still running for a reason. Powered coasters are a dying breed and the ride is just so gosh darn cute. I love the carriages, the theming, the way they say “Choo-choo~”! It’s just a fun and nice social experience, and I enjoy it every time I ride it.
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4. The Smiler
So disclaimer, I have not yet ridden The Smiler yet. The queue was just too long that we would’ve missed out on multiple of the other rides, but it is first on the list for our next trip to Alton Towers. Based on theming alone, this thing cracks the top 4. It’s maybe the best original IP extreme thrill coaster theming in the world. Can’t wait to ride it! After a ride, I may shift its placement here, but this is as high as I can rank it before giving it a go.
3. Galactica
Theming on this ride is near non-existent, but the ride itself is vastly underrated. It feels like if a skyride was turned into a thrill ride. I loved looking down at the park, and feeling the various sensations of flight. The harness was awkward to put on, but once you’re in, it was very comfortable.
Sure, it’s on the slower side, but sightseeing is part of the experience. Also, I was lucky to be in the back row for my ride, so maybe I’m biased because it was a bit whippier for me, but I loved it.
2. Nemesis Reborn
This thing is a rush. It’s like a drug. It’s there and then it’s over before you know it. This ride’s a speed demon that takes you through a whirlwind. I did get some minor headbanging on the last turn, but other than that, this thing is a masterpiece.
It stands in a league of its own compared to the rest so far. I may be slightly biased as I was lucky enough to get the front row seat on my ride, but my brain needed a full half hour to even fully process what happened. This thing is world-class and I can’t wait to ride it again.
1. Wicker Man
So what can beat world-class? My number one coaster in the world right now. I love wooden roller coasters, and I love theming, and I can’t think of a ride that ties the two of those elements together better than Wicker Man. My only complaint about this ride is that the pre-show is too dang loud, but everything else is peak.
The show is great, the wood and fire theming is great. And the ride: this ride is so fun. Nothing beats a smooth wooden roller coaster, truly. The sound of it on the tracks, the way you fly through Big Bob, the iconic man-ram flaming statue, multiple times, the cool mist on a hot day, I love this thing.
I would love to ride this thing all day and night long. It’s also exquisite as a night ride, which I got to do last year, though it’s still fun during the day, as I discovered this year.
Final Thoughts
Overall, Alton Towers is a great coaster destination! I would say this place has at least four must-do coasters if not more. Though if you want to get on Smiler, maybe arrange a two-day trip to plan for those long lines.
Thank you for reading my ranking list, and be sure to use the Press SPACE to Jump Alton Towers affiliate link for your next trip to Alton Towers Resort!
